23rd August 2017


******Copy and pasted from my google drive*******

Hi I’m Ella, and I am alive
(of a person, animal, or plant) living, not dead.
I would like to thank online dictionary for helping me figure that one out
Synonym, living, live, having life… Not dead
I know that I’m not dead, I’m living, I have a head, I hit snooze, go to sleep, wake up in my own bed
At home my stomachs always fed, and when I’m angry I see red
I can walk, run, jump and on solid ground, on planet earth, i tread
Through television loads of political hate because I liked Bernie Sanders instead
This is 2017, and I’m alive

Now this speech is not a comedy, I just wanted to give a lighthearted introduction
To this construction of seduction, resulting in reproduction which to our inconvenience did not come with a manual of instruction
And ultimately ends in non-other but destruction
I want to ask you all… What is the meaning of life?
For those of you who have seen a hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy… it’s 42, very good

But 42 what?
42 laughs
42 runs
42 picnics in the sun
42 kisses
42 cries
42 times you wish you’d said goodbye

Today I will be speaking of the lives of some people who are no longer with us, and the prospect of actually living while grief finds its ways to unhinge us

Last year was a nightmare I’m sure you can all agree
World crisis, no summer, an orange man-baby elected leader of a country
All these things and still it was different for me
I lost seven people that year
Some very close, others not so
And with all these people who left, only one I said goodbye to
Only, by the time I’d flown across the country and gotten to your bedside
You were so dosed up on morphine, couldn’t even open your eyes
So Pops, I want to say I’m sorry, I’m telling you I tried to confide in your unresponsive body,
But, for life, you no longer vied
You no longer wanted to keep up the fight your body had against your brain
We knew your time was up, it was time to end the pain
So with my hand in yours, I watched your breaths til the blips turn into one long continuous beep

Life is temporary
Death is forever if not longer
And if anything positive losing you has made my heart a whole lot stronger
Although not stronger as a whole because a piece you took with you
A gap where I’ll always reminisce, where your life will shine on through

Last year I had a mate, that was all he was
a polite head nod in the hallway
an ‘oops sorry, I think I’m in your way’
we weren’t close and even now I can’t remember what my last words to him would’ve been
He died late last year at the tender age of 17
fast car, gravel road, I don’t need to set the scene
now it’s an empty bed at home
A half empty tank of fuel
an empty space at the bus stop when it comes round after school
and I’m here and I am living and I know it’s so divine
but I still can’t help the feeling that maybe I got left behind
why is he down there and why not me?
is it luck or fate, power or greed
a greedy god just throwing his dice
taking a life when they land on double fives
he had a 17-year ticket to earth
a 17-year ticket, return

Last year I knew a princess, an incredible beauty,
she was like a living star who came to earth just to do her duty,
of radiating light and happiness to all who she got to meet,
even now all I can think of is you running around my dance class in bare feet
unfair is a common word, often used untrue
but there is no more appropriate word for what happened to you
now I’ve never been religious but this solidifies my beliefs
that God cannot exist
he is not above, nor at our feet
for how could a God of all creation
a father of salvation
decide that 7 years was enough time to undo a reservation

We aren’t on earth for long so let’s appreciate the time we have, start pursuing the good and stop focusing on the bad
because in my country, the suicide rates high as a junkie
Ironic, because the meds they sell are getting kinda funky
but here’s a quote that I live by, a phrase I keep persisting
it’s two simple words, the words ‘Just Visiting’
I lived the phrase, I breathe it, I tattooed it on my skin
it’s a phrase I always remember when I want to drop my chin,
life is temporary, no one can live forever
I’m just visiting here for 90 years and then I’ll leave to worlds wherever
to a different universe, or maybe a heaven in the sky, or anywhere else, who really knows, it’s better to not ask why
So while you’re here rejoice it, see the sun rise and applaud it, know someone you love? say I love you, speak to your friends and family of your gratitude
Be true, because just like these people I’ve mentioned, you never know who next you might lose

Time doesn’t heal all wounds
It is a band-aid, repressing outward attacks of emotion
When really grief comes in fickle waves like the ocean
It is deep, it is constant and it hurt,
It’s a darkness, a longing, a craving and more
for someone you love, who isn’t there anymore, but listen
It is okay to grieve, and I know it’s not a phase, it is something you’ll carry with you til the end of all your days
But time is running out, by the minute, by the hour
We’ve gotta embrace the life we have, every smile, every flower
And for me life’s been unfair, too many people left, too soon
But I am prepared to see the light when the world’s swallowed by gloom
The light of simple pleasures, the meanings behind words
The fact that I can walk run jump, tread marks into this earth
And the television loads of political hate at least I can observe
Because I am here and I am living, and I know it’s so divine
There is a choice to make my life wonderful
And that choice is all mine

I choose to be a Joker, running wild and free
But beneath this grin and this cheek do you see me? Under these brands and this bleach that I put in my hair do you see, the person I am when I’m just being me
People judge, she’s a teenager, superficial, carefree, her biggest struggle in life must be choosing between a dress or dungarees
But there is one thing that you need to discover, you can’t go around judging books by their covers
And yes it’s cliched, it’s over said it’s overdone
But you will never know the depths that I’ve swum
I have walked to the edge with a person I’ve loved
I’ve stood and looked down as death gave them a shove
I’ve seen love, life, death and all that’s in between and the funny thing is, I’m only seventeen.

Life is short, much shorter for some
So live it well, because you only get one

Respond now!